Saturday

So this is a reprint of my submission for the writing contest.  Keep in mind that the off-the-wall promt was, "A Bridge will be written..."  It was a struggle to get started, and there was no time for revisions.  I wrote an outline of sorts, then went at it in long hand.  Then it was entry into the email system.  I had time to spell-check, and not a lot more.  That function was only 98% effective.  Sorry.  The time-stamp on Yahoo was 4:52 with a 5:00 PM deadline.  It was my best shot.
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The famous Diocese of Davenport annual crossword puzzle contest was initially held in 1985. Father Thomas Everson had come up with the idea as a fund-raiser for the retired Sisters of the Humility of Mary congregation who had made such great contributions over the years to the education of the Diocese's youth. The entry fee that first year was only $25 and prizes were to be awarded to three places in each of several age groups, including one for Over Age 75. 

Mother had turned 88 that Spring and was both an avid puzzler and a devout Catholic. She still lived on her own then and had yet to give up her driver's license (although that privilege would soon be a matter of history). I was living and working in Cedar Rapids at that time, so I was able to make frequent trips down to Iowa City to make sure that Mother was doing well and to help her with shopping or chores around her small house on Dumont Street just East of downtown. As fate would have it, I became a bit player in that initial crossword contest. 

The first thing that you need to know about Mother and her cross-wording is that she was a prolific cheat. I use that term with deep affection, but her methodology of solving puzzles was to use every outside source available, at any time, to solve a clue. I had become a "purist" at puzzle-solving over the years, preferring to "give up" rather than resort to research and outside investigation. Mother, on the other hand, had special crossword dictionaries, thesauruses and other "helper" books that she always used to assist with puzzle clues and solutions. If she had had a computer back then, she most certainly have had no hesitation to use search engines to solve her puzzles.

The "helper" books got their most use when puzzle themes ran toward music, theater and foreign words or phrases. Mother's formal education ended with her high school degree and her life was largely one of physical labor. Her daily experiences simply did not broaden her knowledge in the arts. 

So Father Everson had done one his most devout parishioners no favors when the puzzle for the contest was announced to be the daily New York Times puzzle appearing in the Friday, June 14th edition of the Des Moines Register. The Time's puzzles are progressively more challenging as the week goes on, making the Friday offering in at least the "difficult category. And the Times' puzzles always make liberal use of themes from the Fine Arts regularly on display and in production in New York City. 

There was also the small matter of contest rules which included; 1) no dictionaries, 2) no computers, and 3) no asking of others for help! The completed puzzle had to be mailed back to the Diocese office by 5PM on Friday evening and had to bear a postal cancellation stamp as matter of proof of the entry. The final statement in the rules sheet was the admonition; Honor the honor code." Mother was officially, and spiritually, on her own for this exercise. 

I had known in advance about this contest and had toyed with the idea of making an entry myself. However, I was scheduled for a session with my company's tax accountant in Iowa City that morning to review an IRS submission. I knew that I would have no time for a challenging crossword. I did take a quick peek at the puzzle while reading the Register over morning coffee at the Highlander Inn and I determined at a glance that Mother would find it hard to finish. 

The unstated theme of the puzzle was the movie, "The Graduate". Knowing that Mother rarely went to the movies, and did not own a record or tape player, she would most likely be completely lost without her "helper" books. People like Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel, Dustin Hoffman and Mrs. Robinson were simply not active players in her world. I would have taken a bet for any amount of money that she would not be able to identify "A Bridge Over Troubled Water" as the split solution between tow long "across" openings.

When I stopped by her house after lunch, you can imagine my surprise when I found her out front watering her patch of wild daisies. "I thought that you would still be at work on the puzzle", I said. "It looked pretty hard to me when I was reading the comics this morning".

"You know, Sonny", Mother said, "I was scared too when I first saw it, but I got started, and after a while, well, things just fell into place. I was done before As The World Turns started. I do those Hollywood clues a lot better after all these years. And I certainly didn't need to use any of those books of mine that you are always complaining about!" 

The great thing about being 88 years old and a little forgetful is that almost all questions have multiple answers, all also being equally correct. Who wants to argue with Grandma? Call it the Rights of Passage. Mother's puzzle was a gilded testimony to this concept. Paul Simon was actually Pete Haven. Dustin Hoffman had become Derwin Hallman, and Mrs. Robinson was Meg Calagton. Finally, one of my favorite tunes from the era was curiously titled' "A Bridge will be written..." 

I considered bringing up these obvious discrepancies to Mother, but thought better of it. In addition to being a violation of the rules of the contest, she seemed quite satisfied that she had correctly answered all of the clues. I had nothing to gain from suggesting that she might want to go over the puzzle "just one more time" to make sure that she was satisfied with her answers. Besides, I figured that the truth would be laid bare the next day when the solution was published in the Saturday paper. So I folded the puzzle, placed it in the envelope and licked the envelope shut. I stopped at the Post Office on my way home and mailed the entry, having also obtained that precious date-stamp for proof of timely mailing. 

Mother called me that next Thursday to let me know that she had won 2nd Place in her age group in the contest and Father Everson had sent along a personal note of congratulations, as well as a $10 coupon to the Knight of Columbus for their ice cream social on July 4th. After extending to her my own best wishes for her success, I asked if she had checked the solution to the puzzle in the Saturday paper. 

"Oh yes", she said. "But they sure misspelled a lot of the correct answers!"

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Not a bad exercise.  Always a challenge when you get under time pressure.

The W, 4  and I are safe and well on Maplecrest and Century Heights.  Hey to the fam on Harvest Path and in The Big Apple.

BCOT