Sunday

Guest blogging for LtPC today is your's truly, The Winniferous.  (BTW, I resemble that nickname.)  The Lt. took off for something called "spin class", again, and left me alone, again.  I decided to jump on here and let him know that he grossly underestimated my skill sets.  Does he think I just nap and chew on those nasty plastic bones while he's gone all the time?  How shallow does he think I am?

Little does he know that all these times that my master, the Lovely 2, has left me in his charge, I have figured out the clicker on his Direct TV set-up and have become a constant watcher of The Pet Network!  I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know that his additional Sports Package includes an extra, narrow-coverage, 50-odd channels, including not only The Pet Network (TPN), but also, Vegan Nutrition Today (VNT), Mall Excursions for Seniors (MES), and Exploring Midwest Trails (EMT). Heck, I don't think he knows the purpose of more than three buttons on the clicker!

Anyway, TPN runs several instructional programs thoughout the day to help shut-in pets pass the time and get a better understanding of their masters.  I got hooked on a show called "Computer Paws" last Fall, and after that two-week stint here in January when the Lovely 2 was in China, I became proficient at Word (and Spider Solitaire!).  And TPN's version of Word had a real-time Canine-Human translation dictionary, so I'm able to communicate on-line just like Stephen Hawking. Suite!

So here's a Top Ten list of the Lt.'s pathetic life:

1.  He thinks getting up at 0500 to go to spin class is normal.
2.  Great couch, but he's a little anal about dirt and mud getting on it.
3.  His pals Pete and Bill are my pals too.
4.  Way too much NASCAR.  Turn left!
5.  Not much of a host if you don't like red.
6.  He's a little picky about any dirt or scratches on Margret.
7.  What's this about a regular 1900hrs bedtime?
8.  Can't the guy shave more than twice a week?
9.  Paper is the norm for human guests, but at least he uses regular dishes for my food and water.
10.I hear some people actually have closets and drawers for their clothes.

I could go on, but you get the drift.  It's best that he lives alone.

My time here always means exercise.  Here's my normal view of these treks.  The Lt. is as slow as it gets.  I try to pull him along, but he's quite a burden.  The Lovely 2 and I worked him pretty hard to make his time in the Turkey Trot last year.  I'm not that confident in his 60 minute chances this year.  He'd better pick up his pace.

Then there was the big storm that came in in the middle of last month and things got a little exciting.  We still went out and did our workout, but my view was something less than wide-angled!  I love jumping though the newly-fallen snow, but 15 inches was too much.  The Lt.'s Perfect Neighbor (PN) helps him out with shoveling most of the time.  I think the Lt. sends a check to the PN's church a couple of times a year out of deserved guilt.

Well, I just heard the car door slam, so he must be home from 2nd coffee. I need to get off here to keep his illusion of being in charge in tact.  We'll do our mid-day run once he gets his act ready to roll.  I know he has a dinner scheduled tonight, so I might jump back on here when he leaves and debunk a few more of the myths that he has offered up over the years.

Thanks for putting up with him.

BCOT (What does this mean?)