Wednesday

Frank and Melanie will return tomorrow. Promise. (That is not a threat.)

Enjoyed Denise's comments about my birding experiences. I hadn't thought of the feeding area thing. That would explain why the fence-sitting red-winged black birds also fly at me during the summer. But they've never come at me as determinedly as the one has at that Forest Grove site within the last week.

The heat turned up outside today. Should be an interesting ride tonight.

Had my bi-annual eye check-up today. The results were known in advance: they ain't getting any better. I've begun having trouble with the smaller print in the sports' page box scores and the numbers in the crossword squares. So I'm going to try bifocals again. The last time he prescribed bifocals, I traded them in within a month or two because it was too much of a nuisance. It was just easier to slide my single-lens glasses on top of my head for reading purposes. Now, with the smaller print not as clear, I may have to give up more ground to the aging curve.

My conclusions on the reality of optical stores remain unaltered. The advertising that they do with "2 pair of glasses for $100" or the like, is akin to the tourist trap that crows, "4 T-shirts for $10," and then has one rack of off-brands (some with holes covered with patches) at that price. All the shirts that you might actually wear are at regular prices. My bill at the glasses store today for regular and sun glasses; $433.

Of course some of you are sitting there and thinking about taking this to the Seinfeld level and wondering about the definition of "a pair of glasses." Shouldn't it really be "a set of glasses?" If you are getting a "pair" of glasses, are we talking about one unit of two connected monocles, or two units like I bought today? (This little discussion could go into the child care area as well, but a play on Southern phoenetics is a little further off the beaten path than even Jerry would want to go.)

Sorry about that. Just couldn't pass on the diversion into oxymorons. Or are we actually talking about a different figure of speech here? It could technically be a case of "antiphrasis." (You can look it up. I did.)

Then there's the aspect of the diluting of the eyes and driving home. But that part of the story will have to wait for another day.

So I'm off to my ride.

Be careful out there.